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After almost 10 years of marriage, there are some things I’d like my husband to know. Sometimes it’s easy to tell him these things in the rare, quiet moments at home when we’re both not exhausted, but as a writer, I’ve always been better with putting my thoughts on paper.
As we danced our first dance at our wedding all those years ago, we were wild with hope about our future together. Young and naive, we didn’t think there would be any major hiccups or learning curves that we couldn’t handle. We didn’t know what kind of test children would give our marriage, either. My husband has learned many lessons from being married to a pain in the ass like me, but he’s also still navigating through many others as both a man and a father. Here are some things I want him to remember.
- It’s OK to cry. In fact, I want you to.
- You can lean on me. Men don’t always have to serve as the boulder. Women are just as strong.
- You are truly the best role model for our kids — as both a father and what a future spouse should look like to them.
- I am indeed taking notice that you are working on that body of yours. And I appreciate it.
- Thank you for making me feel sexy — even after children when, sometimes, my self-esteem gets hammered.
- Your work ethic is contagious.
- I appreciate you changing the bed sheets, emptying the dishwasher, and doing other chores that I despise.
- Thank you for staying out of the kitchen. You know I’m far too controlling to let you in there.
- Let’s keep trying to find that magic. It’s still there. Let’s turn off Netflix, pour our glasses of wine, and just talk — like we did when we first fell in love.
- Keep challenging me. I like it when you push me to new heights.
- Thank you for understanding that moms need time away — sometimes alone, and sometimes with friends.
- Thank you for ignoring all of my idiosyncrasies: how I need to sleep with white noise, how I’m neurotic about the kids’ sleep, and how I leave glasses all over the house.
- Let’s make a pact to laugh more.
- Our love has overcome a lot in these 10 years. With hard work, I’m sure that it will only continue.